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Last Friday, Kathleen and I celebrated our
50th wedding anniversary. We are mindful that not
everyone, for a variety of reasons, reaches this milestone. So as we give
thanks for this blessing, we are also thankful that God’s love and blessings come in many different ways and forms, and
enrich all our relationships.
But if someone were to ask me what my
advice would be for a healthy marriage, a few
words and phrases come to mind: friendship, kindness and respect. Communication.
The desire to be with each other no matter what we are doing. Being on the “same
page” about most things including values, but also honoring the fact that we
each have our own pages to live and enjoy. Being able to laugh (see pictures above) and cry together. Knowing we are loved for who we are, quirks and all. Being
able to apologize and forgive.
And perhaps the most important gift we’ve
tried to remember is that we invited God, that we invited Christ to be the
third person in our marriage, something that is made
clear in the wedding liturgy. We repeat vows and make promises not using the
phrase “I do” but “I will”; in other words, I will from this day forward, with
God’s help, with Jesus’ help.
Before the opening procession at our
wedding, we had a friend sing a hymn. It is a poem by George
Herbert set to music by Ralph Vaughn Williams. Its words are for everyone who calls God to be the center of their life. We all need to be reminded
that God, that Christ, is our constant companion who will help and guide us through
the changes and chances and challenges of a marriage, and any relationship we
have.
“The
Call” by George Herbert
Come,
my Way, my Truth, my Life;
Such
a Way that gives us breath,
Such
a Truth as ends all strife.
Such
a Life as killeth death.
Come,
my Light, my Feast my Strength;
Such
a Light as shows a Feast,
Such
a Feast as mends in length,
Such
a Strength as makes his guest.
Come,
my Joy, my Love, my Heart;
Such
a Joy as none can move,
Such
a Love a none can part,
Such
a Heart as joys in love.
John
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